Well, i am not exactly swimming...but I am still sticking to my exercise routine...and I am happy to report as of today, I have lost an inch in my waist, half an inch on my biceps, half an inch on my hips and TWO inches off each of my thighs. After one week. For those of you out there that don't believe regular workouts will tone you up, I should be proof right there. I haven't stepped on the scale yet for fear of over analyzing the number in pounds. I am going to build up that courage today and I will get back to you. I still feel really great; the first couple of days just getting up to do the workout seemed so hard, but now I feel like I can just go-go-go all day.
This weekend when we moved (which I HATE doing), I actually pretty well kept up with Josh. I felt a lot stronger and more useful not having to only carry pillows or clothes. Now, the daunting task of unpacking is looming ahead. And if there is one thing I hate more than moving, its unpacking. I'm the type of person who likes everything to be in it's proper place...and if it isn't and a room is full of boxes and trash bags, I stress. I am stressed right now.
This week is going to be a busy one, and I am SO excited for all of it! Tomorrow, my sister and I get to go to the Michael Buble concert! Meg is a huge fan and she got the tickets for Christmas and decided to take me!! Wednesday, Josh and I get to go watch his brother Luke play baseball at Coors Field. For those who may not know, that is the major league baseball field out there in Denver, home of the Rockies. It is a huge honor for Luke's team to get to play on a real major league field, and actually Josh was able to play there when he was a senior in high school. I think its going to be very special. I am borrowing my brother's tripod and I am going to attempt some sports photography for Luke. Then...Friday, is my first dress viewing. As nervous as I was last week, I found my measurements from the day I bought my dress and I am smaller now. That alone is calming me down and actually has me looking forward to this day! I cannot wait to share it with my girls and my mom.
I wish I had more time to write, but for now...I have a mountain of clothes to go through and hang up. Sigh.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Spring in Colorado
I don't know if I really did not pay attention to it growing up, or if it is just more important to me now that I have a brand new car that I don't want to get "hurt"...but the weather in Colorado is absolutely.freaking.insane.
On Monday of this week, I was walking around the house in shorts and flip flops, taking Charlie for a long walk and sitting on my patio trying to get some color on my legs.
On Tuesday, I was doing some laundry when Charlie started barking. I turned down my blaring Pandora Radio (Brad Paisley station <3) and heard something VERY odd. It was hailing! And not just random little bits of hail...like a complete flood of hailstones. Two thoughts went through my head: 1. Oh, God not another tornado!!! and 2. My CAR!!!
Excuse Josh's breath...it's not a ghostie.
On Monday of this week, I was walking around the house in shorts and flip flops, taking Charlie for a long walk and sitting on my patio trying to get some color on my legs.
On Tuesday, I was doing some laundry when Charlie started barking. I turned down my blaring Pandora Radio (Brad Paisley station <3) and heard something VERY odd. It was hailing! And not just random little bits of hail...like a complete flood of hailstones. Two thoughts went through my head: 1. Oh, God not another tornado!!! and 2. My CAR!!!
This is what I saw when I looked out the window.
It looked like this within 10 minutes. (Honestly)
See! It really was hail!
I shook my head and went back inside, chalking this insanity up to living in Colorado in the spring. Josh got home an hour later saying these crazy things about a blizzard. I went out on the porch with him and he was right!
Random blizzard.
Excuse Josh's breath...it's not a ghostie.
I can only imagine the reactions of people not from here. They probably thought the apocalypse was happening. Lets just keep our fingers (and toes) crossed that we are not subjected to Colorado's bi-polar tendencies on October 1st! And now, I am officially an old lady...talkin about the weather!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Progress
I am on the fourth day of my new exercise program. I feel AWESOME! I tend to always procrastinate working out because I convince myself that it's going to be terrible. In all honesty, its just the first day that is a butt-kicker, and the other days come much easier. Once I actually start working out, I always remember how good it feels.
What amazes me is the immediate change I am seeing and feeling. What Josh and I came up with to ease me back into exercising is a blend of several methods that I actually wanted to do. There is a program called P90x. Its also often called the "Beach body diet" and it is intense. I believe I could do it, maybe after I build my strength and endurace up. It also costs $120 that I don't have right now. So...thanks to the beatuy of Netflix, I can stream workout videos for free onto my T.V. The one that I found that looked challenging but not deadly and the one that Josh watched and approved is by Self Magazine. It's called Bikini Ready Fast. Despite the picture of beautiful Brooke Burke on the cover, it promised drastic results in as little as 4 weeks. I know they put those claims on the covers in order to sell the product, but hey...it works. I am not overweight and I am not drastically out of shape. I just happen to be a little jiggly in places I do not wish to be, so this video will give me great results, I can already tell. 4 days in.
The Bikini Ready Fast video is tought by Ellen Barrett, who apparently coaches celebrities in a type of fitness called "Ballet Pilates." Since the body I naturally have and dream of is more of a long, lean, dancer's body...this is perfect for me. Therefore, the video focuses on basic pilates/yoga moves enhanced with light dumbbells and lots of repetitions. The killer is that you do every exercise in a squat, lunge or plie...the first time I did it I was like, "oh my GOD! kill me now." But I suffered through it and though I was sore as hell the next day, I reveled in the soreness. Sore is good. Sore means something is happening. If it doesn't hurt, its not worth it! This video is awesome, it mainly focuses on making your arms and back slimmer while making your butt and thighs slimmer. There is some standing ab work, but I want killer abs...like I used to have, and for this, there was really only one option.
The P90x program has a specific workout called the Ab Ripper X and during the 90 days of the program, you essentially do this ab workout every other day. I decided there really was no better way to get abs fast. And fast is what I like...me and patience are not very good friends. I got it approved by my personal trainer (aka Josh) and began it yesterday. All I can say is O.M.G. oh yeah, and ow. It was amazing! I loved every second of that torture. Seriously, I have tried so many ab workouts, I even had one of those Ab Rollers once. This video is only like 20 minutes long, but it is insane. Throughout that 20 minutes you do over 350 ab targeting exercises. And you feel it burn. The whole time. I was very impressed with myself, I guess most people cannot get through the whole thing with all the reps the first couple times. I only had to stop for a stretch once and I hopped right back in. Oh and by the way, since I cannot afford this program, I found the Ab Ripper uploaded on youtube.
This morning I woke up sore....I need to remember not to get overly excited about working out and overdo it. It was the first day that it was really hard for me to get through my bikini ready workout. I was tired. But I fought through it and I am so happy. I took my body measurements on the first day that I began working out and hopefully I will begin to see a change soon. These photos are going to be my inspiration for my new body, yay:
What amazes me is the immediate change I am seeing and feeling. What Josh and I came up with to ease me back into exercising is a blend of several methods that I actually wanted to do. There is a program called P90x. Its also often called the "Beach body diet" and it is intense. I believe I could do it, maybe after I build my strength and endurace up. It also costs $120 that I don't have right now. So...thanks to the beatuy of Netflix, I can stream workout videos for free onto my T.V. The one that I found that looked challenging but not deadly and the one that Josh watched and approved is by Self Magazine. It's called Bikini Ready Fast. Despite the picture of beautiful Brooke Burke on the cover, it promised drastic results in as little as 4 weeks. I know they put those claims on the covers in order to sell the product, but hey...it works. I am not overweight and I am not drastically out of shape. I just happen to be a little jiggly in places I do not wish to be, so this video will give me great results, I can already tell. 4 days in.
The Bikini Ready Fast video is tought by Ellen Barrett, who apparently coaches celebrities in a type of fitness called "Ballet Pilates." Since the body I naturally have and dream of is more of a long, lean, dancer's body...this is perfect for me. Therefore, the video focuses on basic pilates/yoga moves enhanced with light dumbbells and lots of repetitions. The killer is that you do every exercise in a squat, lunge or plie...the first time I did it I was like, "oh my GOD! kill me now." But I suffered through it and though I was sore as hell the next day, I reveled in the soreness. Sore is good. Sore means something is happening. If it doesn't hurt, its not worth it! This video is awesome, it mainly focuses on making your arms and back slimmer while making your butt and thighs slimmer. There is some standing ab work, but I want killer abs...like I used to have, and for this, there was really only one option.
The P90x program has a specific workout called the Ab Ripper X and during the 90 days of the program, you essentially do this ab workout every other day. I decided there really was no better way to get abs fast. And fast is what I like...me and patience are not very good friends. I got it approved by my personal trainer (aka Josh) and began it yesterday. All I can say is O.M.G. oh yeah, and ow. It was amazing! I loved every second of that torture. Seriously, I have tried so many ab workouts, I even had one of those Ab Rollers once. This video is only like 20 minutes long, but it is insane. Throughout that 20 minutes you do over 350 ab targeting exercises. And you feel it burn. The whole time. I was very impressed with myself, I guess most people cannot get through the whole thing with all the reps the first couple times. I only had to stop for a stretch once and I hopped right back in. Oh and by the way, since I cannot afford this program, I found the Ab Ripper uploaded on youtube.
This morning I woke up sore....I need to remember not to get overly excited about working out and overdo it. It was the first day that it was really hard for me to get through my bikini ready workout. I was tired. But I fought through it and I am so happy. I took my body measurements on the first day that I began working out and hopefully I will begin to see a change soon. These photos are going to be my inspiration for my new body, yay:
Gorgeous Alessandra Ambrosio (of Victoria's Secret). I like how she is thin and fit but not all bones like Nicole Richie.
And right now, I am completely obsessing over Jen Aniston's legs. Well, she's kinda the whole package but I'll just shoot for the legs for now :)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Exercise
Up until recently, I was one of those people who was blessed with skinny parents and naturally fast metabolism. All my friends in high school were super jealous because I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain an ounce. Despite that, weight is something I struggled with my entire life. Although never diagnosed, it was very obvious to myself and my family and friends that I had an "eating disorder" of some sort.
When I was in elementary school, I was abnormally thin. I grew like a weed vertically and went through those awkward years even thinner than most normal kids my age. My legs looked like they came straight out of my neck and they were scrawny...my knees we knobby, my ribs protruded and I basically looked like an awkward noodle. Kids are always really mean, and brutally honest. When we had to run in gym class, I got made fun of so much...because in addition to being super scrawny, my feet were super flat so I kind of kicked them out to the side and pumped my arms way too much. (Think Phoebe in the park, Friends lovers). Pathetic truly. Anyway, because of that, I have always avoided running at all costs. The sport I chose to do in my adolescence was gymnastics. Not a whole lot of running there.
I was in gymnastics up through middle school. I was just starting to look less like a starving orphan and more like a normal pre-teen girl when the girls on my competitive gymnastics team decided it would be a good idea to give me a complex for the rest of my life. I was on a team with girls that were 16 years old, so of course their bodies were a lot different than mine at the time. I was probably 11. At that young age, I was hearing all about these cool things you could do to stay thin forever. I never would have guessed that you could eat whatever you wanted if you just threw it up afterwards and you would never get fat. Or, if you were stronger, you could just not eat at all, or eat barely anything and just drink water. These girls were doing it...and I was berated for not admitting that that's what I was doing since I was so thin. Looking back now, it was so traumatizing to be so young and already learning how to nitpick all the flaws in my body.
Eventually, I think my mom caught wind of me beginning to have this complex and suddenly, I no longer did gymnastics. I didn't miss it. I remember for awhile there I had practice 3 times a week and those practices were like 2 hours long each. Of constant running, flipping, running routines over and over. I would literally walk through the door at home after these practices and fall on the floor. Let's just say my loathing for working out was not assisted by this time in my life.
Once I was in 8th grade, I had let a little compulsion turn into a big one. I didn't realize I was doing anything weird, per se...but other people did. For instance, when all my friends were chowing down on pizza and french fries in the lunch room, I bought a pack of Starbursts and a water. I would make those Starbursts last all day until dinner. I did not eat breakfast because of an entirely different issue I was dealing with then...ovarian cysts which caused me to have almost morning sickness like symptoms. I missed a lot of school. Looking back on pictures of myself in 7th, 8th and 9th grade, I looked SICK. Just horrible. Big black circles under my eyes, sunken cheeks and just blah. I had a scale in my bathroom, and I stepped on that thing probably 6 times a day. At least every time I went to the restroom. This is one of those things I didn't realize at the time, but when I was in 8th grade, my favorite teacher, Ms. Johanson pulled me aside one day and asked me to join a support group for other girls. She explained that it was just a "safe" place to talk about our self esteem and encourage each other. I said okay and when I showed up, there were 5 or 6 other girls who I didn't know and they started talking about throwing up in the bathroom at lunch! Here I was again, with a group of people who seemed to think I had this problem. It angered me at the time, but thinking back on my behavior and looking back on those photos of myself, its obvious that there was something wrong.
I can also clearly remember my mom saying to me, on multiple occasions: "Christy I swear, if I hear you say you're fat one more time...I am taking you to counseling!" I would roll my eyes in that sweet, hormone filled way and say something really intelligent like, 'whatever.' This type of behavior continued through high school, where if I began to see a pinch of anything that could be contrived as "jiggly" I would not eat a substantial meal for days. Ironically, I lived off of crap. Doritos, twix bars, grape soda...but that was pretty much it. I was a lacrosse manager in high school, so basically I missed a lot of sit down family dinners just by being at games pretty late at night. I always felt sick because I was not eating so of course I would not want to eat anything. It was a vicious cycle. Being a busy kid sort of distracted me yet again from my issues.
Pretty much never in my LIFE have I been anything other than super thin. But I was convinced that I was fat. I had no clue what other people saw when they looked at me...when I looked in the mirror, I saw huge. I saw jiggle. I saw love handles. I have issues. I would like to say that I have overcome this little complex of mine, but it will always be there. I remember my senior year, I got really excited because I FINALLY had some curves. That's because I had a lot of great people surrounding me who would literally force me to eat. once I started eating, I realized that food was amazing....that I could actually enjoy eating instead of visualizing where on my body those tator tots would land. I started looking a little healthier.
When Josh and I started dating, I told him all about my struggles with body image and he encouraged me by telling me I was beautiful. However, its not like I ever got rid of these issues and old habits die hard. Despite the new curves, I could not get used to my new body. It just was not what I was used to. I was used to being able to look down and count my ribs, wrap my hands around my thigh and have my fingers overlap....I was used to looking terrible and emaciated...and the horrible part was I thought I looked SO good. Josh was very patient and loving with me...always encouraging me to eat healthy. Shockingly enough, I started feeling so much better once I began eating consistently. Before, when I would skip breakfast and lunch, by dinner...my stomach was practically eating itself. That made me feel sick to my stomach, so I would not want to eat dinner either. I found that if I just ate I felt better. Josh had me looking really great for probably the first time in my life. When we broke up that one really long, really messy time...I fell right back into those bad habits. I was so depressed and sad that I had lost him. When Josh showed up at my work that day when we got back together for the final time, I was the skinniest I had ever been. I weighed about 102 pounds. I am 5'6. That's WAY too skinny...even for someone obsessed with that kind of thing. Part of why we got back together was because of what he said to me the second he saw me. He said, "Christy...you havent been eating again, honey. Are you okay???" He was genuinely concerned and always was.
Since we got back together, I have started feeling more comfortable in my body. Josh was so encouraging and honest and sweet, telling me I was perfect. I got comfortable eating around him...something I always avoided around anyone else. I put on weight. And everyone in my life was so glad. Literally everyone who had known me a substantial amount of time was telling me how amazing I looked. My weight was resting right at about 118 pounds, which is still pretty thin for my height...but it was progress. Since I quit my job in December, I had noticed that this more sedintary lifestyle had impacted my body. I was not eating any more or less than normal, but I have definitely been less active....for the simple fact that I had nowhere to go during the day.
I almost had a heart attack when I went to my yearly exam the other day. I don't think I am gonna tell you my actual weight in numbers, because I want to cry just thinking about it...much less seeing it in print. Let's just suffice it to say its the most I've ever weighed in my life. Just doing internet research tells me that I am at a healthy weight range for my height...that's also a first in my life. And my BMI is a 22.6. Supposedly a healthy BMI range is between 18.5 and 24.9 so clearly, I am in a VERY good spot. But I am having a little meltdown/panic attack. I do not know how to react to these numbers, much less the figure I see in the mirror. They are all so different from what I'm used to...
I have my first dress fitting in about 2 weeks. When I got measured, she told me my measurements indicated that I would need a size 4. My dress was custom made to fit my measurements. I am terrified that they are going to try to slip on my gorgeous dress and it will not fit! Basically, if there's any hope of me not turning into a complete basket case, I NEED to fit in that dress. So...hate it or not, I am starting an exercise program. It has been a long time since I really and truly exercised...I have always been pretty active and that was always enough. But...I am pledging to myself not to revert back to my old food issues. I am promising myself to continue to eat normally and healthy, but just to work out. I am on day 2 of my new workout regime, that Josh and I custom made for what I want my body to look like (a mix of cardio elements like Plyogenics and pilates movements with low weight and high reps). I am hoping for that willowy (healthy!) dancers body. I am sore...but I have energy and renewed faith in myself and a new view on my body.
I am being positive for now...but for the love of all that is holy, that dress BETTER fit. Whew. Sorry. That was a lot of background info/baggage for one post. Just keep me in your thoughts if you have room to spare.
When I was in elementary school, I was abnormally thin. I grew like a weed vertically and went through those awkward years even thinner than most normal kids my age. My legs looked like they came straight out of my neck and they were scrawny...my knees we knobby, my ribs protruded and I basically looked like an awkward noodle. Kids are always really mean, and brutally honest. When we had to run in gym class, I got made fun of so much...because in addition to being super scrawny, my feet were super flat so I kind of kicked them out to the side and pumped my arms way too much. (Think Phoebe in the park, Friends lovers). Pathetic truly. Anyway, because of that, I have always avoided running at all costs. The sport I chose to do in my adolescence was gymnastics. Not a whole lot of running there.
I was in gymnastics up through middle school. I was just starting to look less like a starving orphan and more like a normal pre-teen girl when the girls on my competitive gymnastics team decided it would be a good idea to give me a complex for the rest of my life. I was on a team with girls that were 16 years old, so of course their bodies were a lot different than mine at the time. I was probably 11. At that young age, I was hearing all about these cool things you could do to stay thin forever. I never would have guessed that you could eat whatever you wanted if you just threw it up afterwards and you would never get fat. Or, if you were stronger, you could just not eat at all, or eat barely anything and just drink water. These girls were doing it...and I was berated for not admitting that that's what I was doing since I was so thin. Looking back now, it was so traumatizing to be so young and already learning how to nitpick all the flaws in my body.
Eventually, I think my mom caught wind of me beginning to have this complex and suddenly, I no longer did gymnastics. I didn't miss it. I remember for awhile there I had practice 3 times a week and those practices were like 2 hours long each. Of constant running, flipping, running routines over and over. I would literally walk through the door at home after these practices and fall on the floor. Let's just say my loathing for working out was not assisted by this time in my life.
Once I was in 8th grade, I had let a little compulsion turn into a big one. I didn't realize I was doing anything weird, per se...but other people did. For instance, when all my friends were chowing down on pizza and french fries in the lunch room, I bought a pack of Starbursts and a water. I would make those Starbursts last all day until dinner. I did not eat breakfast because of an entirely different issue I was dealing with then...ovarian cysts which caused me to have almost morning sickness like symptoms. I missed a lot of school. Looking back on pictures of myself in 7th, 8th and 9th grade, I looked SICK. Just horrible. Big black circles under my eyes, sunken cheeks and just blah. I had a scale in my bathroom, and I stepped on that thing probably 6 times a day. At least every time I went to the restroom. This is one of those things I didn't realize at the time, but when I was in 8th grade, my favorite teacher, Ms. Johanson pulled me aside one day and asked me to join a support group for other girls. She explained that it was just a "safe" place to talk about our self esteem and encourage each other. I said okay and when I showed up, there were 5 or 6 other girls who I didn't know and they started talking about throwing up in the bathroom at lunch! Here I was again, with a group of people who seemed to think I had this problem. It angered me at the time, but thinking back on my behavior and looking back on those photos of myself, its obvious that there was something wrong.
I can also clearly remember my mom saying to me, on multiple occasions: "Christy I swear, if I hear you say you're fat one more time...I am taking you to counseling!" I would roll my eyes in that sweet, hormone filled way and say something really intelligent like, 'whatever.' This type of behavior continued through high school, where if I began to see a pinch of anything that could be contrived as "jiggly" I would not eat a substantial meal for days. Ironically, I lived off of crap. Doritos, twix bars, grape soda...but that was pretty much it. I was a lacrosse manager in high school, so basically I missed a lot of sit down family dinners just by being at games pretty late at night. I always felt sick because I was not eating so of course I would not want to eat anything. It was a vicious cycle. Being a busy kid sort of distracted me yet again from my issues.
Pretty much never in my LIFE have I been anything other than super thin. But I was convinced that I was fat. I had no clue what other people saw when they looked at me...when I looked in the mirror, I saw huge. I saw jiggle. I saw love handles. I have issues. I would like to say that I have overcome this little complex of mine, but it will always be there. I remember my senior year, I got really excited because I FINALLY had some curves. That's because I had a lot of great people surrounding me who would literally force me to eat. once I started eating, I realized that food was amazing....that I could actually enjoy eating instead of visualizing where on my body those tator tots would land. I started looking a little healthier.
When Josh and I started dating, I told him all about my struggles with body image and he encouraged me by telling me I was beautiful. However, its not like I ever got rid of these issues and old habits die hard. Despite the new curves, I could not get used to my new body. It just was not what I was used to. I was used to being able to look down and count my ribs, wrap my hands around my thigh and have my fingers overlap....I was used to looking terrible and emaciated...and the horrible part was I thought I looked SO good. Josh was very patient and loving with me...always encouraging me to eat healthy. Shockingly enough, I started feeling so much better once I began eating consistently. Before, when I would skip breakfast and lunch, by dinner...my stomach was practically eating itself. That made me feel sick to my stomach, so I would not want to eat dinner either. I found that if I just ate I felt better. Josh had me looking really great for probably the first time in my life. When we broke up that one really long, really messy time...I fell right back into those bad habits. I was so depressed and sad that I had lost him. When Josh showed up at my work that day when we got back together for the final time, I was the skinniest I had ever been. I weighed about 102 pounds. I am 5'6. That's WAY too skinny...even for someone obsessed with that kind of thing. Part of why we got back together was because of what he said to me the second he saw me. He said, "Christy...you havent been eating again, honey. Are you okay???" He was genuinely concerned and always was.
Since we got back together, I have started feeling more comfortable in my body. Josh was so encouraging and honest and sweet, telling me I was perfect. I got comfortable eating around him...something I always avoided around anyone else. I put on weight. And everyone in my life was so glad. Literally everyone who had known me a substantial amount of time was telling me how amazing I looked. My weight was resting right at about 118 pounds, which is still pretty thin for my height...but it was progress. Since I quit my job in December, I had noticed that this more sedintary lifestyle had impacted my body. I was not eating any more or less than normal, but I have definitely been less active....for the simple fact that I had nowhere to go during the day.
I almost had a heart attack when I went to my yearly exam the other day. I don't think I am gonna tell you my actual weight in numbers, because I want to cry just thinking about it...much less seeing it in print. Let's just suffice it to say its the most I've ever weighed in my life. Just doing internet research tells me that I am at a healthy weight range for my height...that's also a first in my life. And my BMI is a 22.6. Supposedly a healthy BMI range is between 18.5 and 24.9 so clearly, I am in a VERY good spot. But I am having a little meltdown/panic attack. I do not know how to react to these numbers, much less the figure I see in the mirror. They are all so different from what I'm used to...
I have my first dress fitting in about 2 weeks. When I got measured, she told me my measurements indicated that I would need a size 4. My dress was custom made to fit my measurements. I am terrified that they are going to try to slip on my gorgeous dress and it will not fit! Basically, if there's any hope of me not turning into a complete basket case, I NEED to fit in that dress. So...hate it or not, I am starting an exercise program. It has been a long time since I really and truly exercised...I have always been pretty active and that was always enough. But...I am pledging to myself not to revert back to my old food issues. I am promising myself to continue to eat normally and healthy, but just to work out. I am on day 2 of my new workout regime, that Josh and I custom made for what I want my body to look like (a mix of cardio elements like Plyogenics and pilates movements with low weight and high reps). I am hoping for that willowy (healthy!) dancers body. I am sore...but I have energy and renewed faith in myself and a new view on my body.
I am being positive for now...but for the love of all that is holy, that dress BETTER fit. Whew. Sorry. That was a lot of background info/baggage for one post. Just keep me in your thoughts if you have room to spare.
This is me at my super skinniest. When I posted this photo on facebook, several friends I had not seen in awhile called to see "if I was okay". I guess I look a little scrawny here.
And here is a photo of me now. Just GROSS. All I can see in this photo is the size of my arms and my thighs! Josh loves the curves, but it is just NOT me. Even my face looks different. :(
Monday, March 15, 2010
Future Plannin
According to The Knot, as of today, there are 200 days until our wedding. For some reason, that number seems more final than 7 months...maybe because now it can be a countdown. Tomorrow, there will 199 days left until our wedding. I probably should not do that unless I want to give myself a panic attack.
The biggest thing that is going on with Josh and I lately is that we're coming up on the end of our lease here at the apartment. When January rolled around, we had to start thinking about whether we wanted to stay here and if not, what we would do instead. I think the entire month of January was spend alternating between us freaking out that I did not have a job and wondering when things were going to turn around so that I could get one. It seems like lately in Colorado, jobs have been harder and harder to come by. We both have several friends that just graduated from college with degrees in things like Mechanical Engineering and cannot even find a job at Home Depot. Not exactly promising.
One of my biggest pet peeves is sitting around thinking about renting. I mean, when you think about it, there is NO bigger waste of money in this world. You pour money into something and at the end, you have absolutely nothing to show for it. Okay, so maybe it establishes a little bit of good credit but not really. Josh agrees with me. For the past 14 months, we have been paying almost $800 a month for a one bedroom apartment. Yes, we know that that sounds absolutely insane...but really, its not all that unusual. Josh and I used to live in a 2 bedroom apartment with a buddy of Josh's and that one was $600 a month. Lets just say that extra $200 a month bought us some security. At that other apartment, my car got broken into 3 times. One of those times, they tried to rip out my stereo...I say tried because they used a crowbar...and left it in my car. My stereo was wrenched halfway out and my dashboard was cracked the entire way up. Another time at the cheap apartment, I got home from work at around 9:45pm...I was walking up the dark walkway to get to the stairs leading to our apartment. This whole place was super dark and scary at night. Right when I got to the stairs, a very large man who was obviously on a very large amount of crack or God knows what else CHASED ME UP THE STAIRS. He was talking animatedly to himself and hitting himself in the face and I am not joking when I say that he chased me, at a dead sprint, up 3 flights of stairs. Thank GOD I had my key ready. When I got inside, he paced out on the landing in front of our door for a solid 15 minutes. We called the police, but never saw them. I guess let's just say $800 a month is not so bad when I don't have to worry about getting home late at night or leaving my car in the parking lot.
Anyway, we have a wedding to pay for. Currently, I do not have a job. The ambition that Josh and I have is to have a house to move into after we're married. A house that we are paying a mortgage on, not renting. Very ambitious I know. We threw around every possibility and finally came to a conclusion. At the end of this month, we are moving in with my mom. I know most people think of this as some sort of cruel punishment, but those people obviously don't have a mama like mine. My mom lives in my childhood home, 4 bedrooms...and no one there but her. My mom is my best friend in the world. She was the biggest supporter of Josh and I in general and especially when he wanted to ask me to marry him. Something not a lot of people know is that my amazing, beautiful, caring mother went with Josh to look at engagement rings; she knew which one I wanted and she gave up her ring from her marriage to my dad so that it would be easier for Josh to pay for my dream ring. She told him she was giving up something from a broken relationship so that we could build a strong one. My ring would be precious to me no matter what, but every time I look at it, I am reminded of her selfless act of support for me and the man that I love.. We know it will be a change, but it will be a good thing. We are looking at it as a HUGE blessing. We get to save money not only for the wedding, but for a house. Our Charlie gets to have a puppy friend that we can leave him with during the day. Since he's still so little, it made it almost impossible for me to get a job before we move in with mom. Josh and I will have more outside interaction with other people, specifically family, and that is always a good thing. My mom will be close at hand to help with wedding projects. My mom will not have to be in that big house all alone at night anymore. Basically, the benefits are endless.
The only downside is that, despite the ridiculous pricetag, this little apartment has become a home to Josh and myself. Our own little world where we had our own little rituals, recipes and family memories. A part of me will be sad to leave it. I just have to remember that once we are happily married, we will have a REAL house to move into and grow into. I could not be happier that we have such supportive families and friends that are willing to do anything to make our life together easier. I am excited to have more time to spend with my mama before Josh and I really become man and wife.
The biggest thing that is going on with Josh and I lately is that we're coming up on the end of our lease here at the apartment. When January rolled around, we had to start thinking about whether we wanted to stay here and if not, what we would do instead. I think the entire month of January was spend alternating between us freaking out that I did not have a job and wondering when things were going to turn around so that I could get one. It seems like lately in Colorado, jobs have been harder and harder to come by. We both have several friends that just graduated from college with degrees in things like Mechanical Engineering and cannot even find a job at Home Depot. Not exactly promising.
One of my biggest pet peeves is sitting around thinking about renting. I mean, when you think about it, there is NO bigger waste of money in this world. You pour money into something and at the end, you have absolutely nothing to show for it. Okay, so maybe it establishes a little bit of good credit but not really. Josh agrees with me. For the past 14 months, we have been paying almost $800 a month for a one bedroom apartment. Yes, we know that that sounds absolutely insane...but really, its not all that unusual. Josh and I used to live in a 2 bedroom apartment with a buddy of Josh's and that one was $600 a month. Lets just say that extra $200 a month bought us some security. At that other apartment, my car got broken into 3 times. One of those times, they tried to rip out my stereo...I say tried because they used a crowbar...and left it in my car. My stereo was wrenched halfway out and my dashboard was cracked the entire way up. Another time at the cheap apartment, I got home from work at around 9:45pm...I was walking up the dark walkway to get to the stairs leading to our apartment. This whole place was super dark and scary at night. Right when I got to the stairs, a very large man who was obviously on a very large amount of crack or God knows what else CHASED ME UP THE STAIRS. He was talking animatedly to himself and hitting himself in the face and I am not joking when I say that he chased me, at a dead sprint, up 3 flights of stairs. Thank GOD I had my key ready. When I got inside, he paced out on the landing in front of our door for a solid 15 minutes. We called the police, but never saw them. I guess let's just say $800 a month is not so bad when I don't have to worry about getting home late at night or leaving my car in the parking lot.
Anyway, we have a wedding to pay for. Currently, I do not have a job. The ambition that Josh and I have is to have a house to move into after we're married. A house that we are paying a mortgage on, not renting. Very ambitious I know. We threw around every possibility and finally came to a conclusion. At the end of this month, we are moving in with my mom. I know most people think of this as some sort of cruel punishment, but those people obviously don't have a mama like mine. My mom lives in my childhood home, 4 bedrooms...and no one there but her. My mom is my best friend in the world. She was the biggest supporter of Josh and I in general and especially when he wanted to ask me to marry him. Something not a lot of people know is that my amazing, beautiful, caring mother went with Josh to look at engagement rings; she knew which one I wanted and she gave up her ring from her marriage to my dad so that it would be easier for Josh to pay for my dream ring. She told him she was giving up something from a broken relationship so that we could build a strong one. My ring would be precious to me no matter what, but every time I look at it, I am reminded of her selfless act of support for me and the man that I love.. We know it will be a change, but it will be a good thing. We are looking at it as a HUGE blessing. We get to save money not only for the wedding, but for a house. Our Charlie gets to have a puppy friend that we can leave him with during the day. Since he's still so little, it made it almost impossible for me to get a job before we move in with mom. Josh and I will have more outside interaction with other people, specifically family, and that is always a good thing. My mom will be close at hand to help with wedding projects. My mom will not have to be in that big house all alone at night anymore. Basically, the benefits are endless.
The only downside is that, despite the ridiculous pricetag, this little apartment has become a home to Josh and myself. Our own little world where we had our own little rituals, recipes and family memories. A part of me will be sad to leave it. I just have to remember that once we are happily married, we will have a REAL house to move into and grow into. I could not be happier that we have such supportive families and friends that are willing to do anything to make our life together easier. I am excited to have more time to spend with my mama before Josh and I really become man and wife.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
DIY Aisle Runner
I guess it's official! I'm a real DIY bride! I completed my second project yesterday with the help of my amazing sister. She is a perfectionist like me, so it was really nice to have her there...not only as someone to talk to, but as another set of eyes that could tell me her honest thoughts throughout the process. My sister is my Maid of Honor, and I could not have picked a better person for the job. She is honest when I need it, encouraging when I screw something up and there to laugh when I fall off the chair in the midst of trying to take the picture of the finished product! Don't know what I'd do without her...
This project was super fun and really easy. I think it is something really special that is just going to add a littler personal pop to our teeny, cute chapel. It photographs really well too and my little brain is already ticking off shots that we could do to incorporate it. Anyway, here you have it....my aisle runner!
The first thing we did to start this project was went to Joann Fabrics and bought the aisle runner. It is made by Wilton (basically everything wedding related in a craft store is Wilton). Originally, it cost $29.99, but I had a 40% off coupon so I only paid $19. Then I picked up two bottles of paint: one in Tiffany blue, the other in a bronze and a pack of paint brushes. All that cost me about $6 because I chose stuff that was 50% off at Hobby Lobby. My mom designed our monogram in Microsoft Publisher and we got it printed at Kinko's for $3. So altogether, this little project cost $28.00! Not bad!!!
Once I had all my materials assembled, I knew I needed to cut my aisle runner down quite a bit. It comes on a roll with a string that you pull to roll it out, and it is 100 feet long. My aisle is a measly 35 feet long! I cut about 40 feet off, leaving some extra on purpose in case I messed anything up. I folded up the material that I cut off, and I am thinking I will be able to use it later for something else (maybe a table runner or something).
First, I cut my monogram paper so that it would fit on my table. Then, I taped it down nice and tight. Next I laid my aisle runner over the top of the paper monogram, keeping in mind that I wanted the monogram about 5 feet from the end of the aisle. I taped the aisle runner to the table as well, making really sure it was straight and tight, so there were no weird creases or anything.
Then we set to work tracing over the monogram with a soft lead mechanical pencil. We were using dark colors so we weren't afraid of tracing too dark.
Once the monogram was traced, we undid all the tape, took the paper monogram off the table and threw it away, we were done with it at this point. I then covered the entire table in wax paper, taped it down and retaped the aisle runner over the top of the wax paper. Once we had the wax paper in place, we were ready to start painting.
We decided to paint the "P" first since it was the lighter color and would probably need more coats. We were right. It took almost 3 coats to make it bright and filled in completely. We found what really helped was having a cup of water ready so that every few minutes, we could rinse our brush and then dab it on a paper towel. Otherwise our paint was getting too gloppy on the paint brush.
This project was super fun and really easy. I think it is something really special that is just going to add a littler personal pop to our teeny, cute chapel. It photographs really well too and my little brain is already ticking off shots that we could do to incorporate it. Anyway, here you have it....my aisle runner!
The first thing we did to start this project was went to Joann Fabrics and bought the aisle runner. It is made by Wilton (basically everything wedding related in a craft store is Wilton). Originally, it cost $29.99, but I had a 40% off coupon so I only paid $19. Then I picked up two bottles of paint: one in Tiffany blue, the other in a bronze and a pack of paint brushes. All that cost me about $6 because I chose stuff that was 50% off at Hobby Lobby. My mom designed our monogram in Microsoft Publisher and we got it printed at Kinko's for $3. So altogether, this little project cost $28.00! Not bad!!!
Once I had all my materials assembled, I knew I needed to cut my aisle runner down quite a bit. It comes on a roll with a string that you pull to roll it out, and it is 100 feet long. My aisle is a measly 35 feet long! I cut about 40 feet off, leaving some extra on purpose in case I messed anything up. I folded up the material that I cut off, and I am thinking I will be able to use it later for something else (maybe a table runner or something).
First, I cut my monogram paper so that it would fit on my table. Then, I taped it down nice and tight. Next I laid my aisle runner over the top of the paper monogram, keeping in mind that I wanted the monogram about 5 feet from the end of the aisle. I taped the aisle runner to the table as well, making really sure it was straight and tight, so there were no weird creases or anything.
Then we set to work tracing over the monogram with a soft lead mechanical pencil. We were using dark colors so we weren't afraid of tracing too dark.
Here's Meg tracing away.
The monogram all traced and on top of wax paper.
If I could give any advice, it is to be PATIENT and take your time. It took us about 20 minutes to get our "technique" perfected. It seemed to work best to use the edge of the brush to make a smooth line on the border of the "P" and then fill it in. We did about 2 inches at a time. After the P was all filled in, we let it sit for about a half hour to dry. Surprisingly, the paint dried really fast. Because of the fabric, we definitely needed a couple coats to get it nice and even.
After the blue paint was dry, I set to work on the smaller words. Meg was afraid to do those because we didn't really have a teeny paintbrush, so I used my medium sized one and just went super slow and super carefully.
Here I am painting our names.
It was a good idea to start in an upper corner and work diagonally down, that way I did not smear anything. I only did one coat on my smaller words and I left it so that I could sort of see the pencil outline. It added a nice drop shadow effect to the words. $28 bucks and about 2 hours later, our masterpiece was finished!!!
I am so happy with how it turned out. I LOVE the colors. I left it out overnight and this morning I am going to cover the painted part with wax paper and roll it up. Then I will put it in a garbage bag to keep it nice and clean and I will have something to set aside that is COMPLETED for the wedding!!!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I'm Blind!!!!
Tomorrow is a day I have been dreading for a very LONG time. It is eye doctor day. Just as a little bit of background, I have one phobia...one fear that is completely irrational and crippling...and that would be anyone/anything being unneccesarily close to my eyeballs! My eyes are watering at the mere thought of that flipping puff test I will have to endure tomorrow!
I usually put this appointment off much too long because I hate it so much. I basically go from a well put together, calm person into a quivering puddle of nerves once I am sitting in that chair and those creepy goggles move towards my face. I cannot explain it...it's just terrible. The bigger problem than all this is that my vision actually sucks. I used to just squint at things far away and be fine...seems 5 years of doing that will play games with your eyesight. Basically, I have been walking around life pretty substantially blind for almost an entire year. It really does not seem THAT bad until I try to drive at night. I can see the lines of the road and brake lights, but if you expect me to read a street sign, you're gonna be sorely disappointed. It's also bad when I try to watch TV. I noticed just the other day that I am getting a REALLY cute wrinkle right between my eyebrows from all the squinting I do. *sigh* Guess I cannot live in my happy little eye-doctor-less bubble any longer.
The other problem with this scenario is that I have terrible allergies. Super horrible. It's to the point where I am sneezing more often than not. I take 2 benadryl every day...that's right EVERY DAY. It really sucks, but I would rather spend most of my life kinda cloudy from Benadryl than stuffing Kleenex up my nose. Not only is it annoying to have a runny nose, but the Benadryl dries my eyes out soooo bad. This makes contact wearing damn near impossible. I am stubborn and don't want glasses and I cannot afford Lasik (which they would have to sedate me for anyway). Therefore, because I am vain (hah!) I must make myself suffer in contacts. Typically, I can get through my day...but after like 7 or 8 hours in those little buggers I am ready to rip my eyes out...the sandpaper feeling is definitely not one of my faves...and neither is that super attractive red eye look. Yet another problem I face is that I have SUPER round eyes. So most contacts feel pretty tight. To put it lightly, at the end of a day of wearing contacts, my eyes burn, feel super scratchy and feel like they are being suctioned out. Yes, I know, sexy huh?
The point of this long drawn out rant is to say that tomorrow I am sucking it up, asking for the most expensive, cushy and moist contacts they carry...and getting a pair of glasses. I figure this way, on those days I cannot handle the torture of contacts, I can wear glasses. I still think I look so dumb in glasses but hopefully I will be able to find something cute.
Wish me luck! I'll be updating tomorrow I am sure if I make it through this traumatic ordeal!
I usually put this appointment off much too long because I hate it so much. I basically go from a well put together, calm person into a quivering puddle of nerves once I am sitting in that chair and those creepy goggles move towards my face. I cannot explain it...it's just terrible. The bigger problem than all this is that my vision actually sucks. I used to just squint at things far away and be fine...seems 5 years of doing that will play games with your eyesight. Basically, I have been walking around life pretty substantially blind for almost an entire year. It really does not seem THAT bad until I try to drive at night. I can see the lines of the road and brake lights, but if you expect me to read a street sign, you're gonna be sorely disappointed. It's also bad when I try to watch TV. I noticed just the other day that I am getting a REALLY cute wrinkle right between my eyebrows from all the squinting I do. *sigh* Guess I cannot live in my happy little eye-doctor-less bubble any longer.
The other problem with this scenario is that I have terrible allergies. Super horrible. It's to the point where I am sneezing more often than not. I take 2 benadryl every day...that's right EVERY DAY. It really sucks, but I would rather spend most of my life kinda cloudy from Benadryl than stuffing Kleenex up my nose. Not only is it annoying to have a runny nose, but the Benadryl dries my eyes out soooo bad. This makes contact wearing damn near impossible. I am stubborn and don't want glasses and I cannot afford Lasik (which they would have to sedate me for anyway). Therefore, because I am vain (hah!) I must make myself suffer in contacts. Typically, I can get through my day...but after like 7 or 8 hours in those little buggers I am ready to rip my eyes out...the sandpaper feeling is definitely not one of my faves...and neither is that super attractive red eye look. Yet another problem I face is that I have SUPER round eyes. So most contacts feel pretty tight. To put it lightly, at the end of a day of wearing contacts, my eyes burn, feel super scratchy and feel like they are being suctioned out. Yes, I know, sexy huh?
The point of this long drawn out rant is to say that tomorrow I am sucking it up, asking for the most expensive, cushy and moist contacts they carry...and getting a pair of glasses. I figure this way, on those days I cannot handle the torture of contacts, I can wear glasses. I still think I look so dumb in glasses but hopefully I will be able to find something cute.
Wish me luck! I'll be updating tomorrow I am sure if I make it through this traumatic ordeal!
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