Gratitude.

I guess I should not be so excited about little things at this point. Afterall, we are only 63 days away from the wedding. I guess I should be more on the ball. I could be more on the ball if I had infinite amounts of money always at my disposal, but alas...we are paying for this wedding one chunk at a time. Each payday, we have another couple things to take care of. And that's really all we can do until next payday. This method is equally frustrating and fulfilling. My OCD brain really wishes that everything could just be done, right now. That way I do not have to think about it anymore. It is fulfilling though, checking so many things off the list and knowing that we are a large part in making this wedding a success.

That brings me to my point however. There is absolutely no way in the world that we would be pulling this off without the help and favors of so many people. I do not know how I will ever show enough gratitude to those who are helping us...it seems so much bigger than us. Its not just a day full of food and fun, although it certainly will be. It is a day symbolic of Josh and I growing up, spreading our wings, and a day symbolic of the joining of our two families.

I want to do something special to signify my parents and Josh's at the wedding, but I am honestly not sure what will be enough. I just don't know. If I know them though, anything at all will melt their sweet, giving hearts and that makes me feel like they deserve even more. *sigh*

So, for now:

Mama:
Words can never express what a help you have been in every single facet of this wedding so far. From sitting in countless meetings with Josh and I at venues across Colorado, always asking the questions we would never think of and looking out for us. For crying when I walked out of the dressing room in my wedding gown, the one we both knew was "the one" the moment we saw it. For taking Josh to the jewelry store and pointing out the ring I loved, and then for counseling him on if he was ready and supporting him through the entire proposal process. For your creativity and patience with things I just do not feel like stressing over. For your patience with me as I changed my mind 9,000 times over stupid things like embossing powder. For opening your home to us to allow us a chance to pay for this wedding and not go bankrupt in the process. But most of all, for being there through the saga of Josh and Christy, always knowing what advice to give and when to just sit back and let it happen; for supporting us and understanding the love we have for each other and being willing to guide us to the day when we will be a married couple. You are an inspiration and a blessing to us both. We love you very much.

Dad:
This wedding would NOT be happening, at all...if it weren't for you. I had spent many days and nights crying and anguishing over the fact that we would never be able to afford it before we came to you. We started with a grand group of ideas in mind. And slowly, everything started getting scaled back. The guest list, the favors, the invites, the food. When finally I could not scale anything back anymore, you stepped in to help us. Without blinking an eye, you offered whatever we needed. No questions asked. You have always been so willing to counsel us, on what is wise, what people will not even know is there or not, what we can take care of. Despite you wanting us to just run away together a time or two, you understood what this wedding and this day means to us. Thank you, not just for the financial support...but for the moral support of Josh and I, both individually and as a couple. We are so thankful we have the love and guidance of such a sweet, funny, giving man to help us through.

Ralph and Jackie:
Despite the fact that all the wedding planning is going on over in my world, you have both been so amazing in asking questions, wanting to be involved and giving support to us. From countless phone calls about who's last name is who's and who lives where...you have never once felt burdoned by any of it. You are so gracious. Letting me pore through baby photos of Josh, letting me blab nonstop about menu options and invitations. Coming with us to view the venue and looking at our wedding budget with a keen and knowing eye. Then, contributing to the wedding in such a big way. I cannot express how much it means that you want to be a part of all this with us, and for accepting me into your family the way you have. I feel so happy knowing what an amazing, sweet and supportive family Josh has...and even happier knowing I will get to call you mine too, one day soon.

Tonya:
From day one with Josh and I, you have been there...holding MY hand through the process. :) I was so unsure of myself when this all started, I was a mess to deal with. Josh and I would never have made it this far if you hadn't sat me down and really talked to me about what this life meant for me. You were the person who asked me what I wanted in life. And I did not know. You gave me "homework" and told me to make a dream board, overviewing everything I wanted to achieve. You opened my eyes to the independent and happy girl I was once and could be again. Even through all the yucky parts of our relationship, you loved me like a daughter and always showed such compassion and knowing. Thank you for always talking to us at our level, letting us know it was okay to mess up sometimes, and loving us anyway.

Do you guys deserve a parade? I think so!

Hair!

Over the years, I have had pretty much every hair color imaginable. Lucky for me, I have the blessing of having a skin tone that can pretty much pull off any hair color. I am normally a very humble person, but in this instance I must be honest: I also have really good hair. And a ton of it. Recently, we have been fighting, since I found quite a number of shiny silver ones up in there.

Shall we take a look at all the shades of Christy?

About 3 years ago, I chopped all my hair off (15 inches!) It actually had *something* to do with that horrendous, all inclusive break-up Josh and I had. I've mentioned this sad sad moment before. I also stopped dying my hair in hopes to remember its natural color. This is what I looked like then:

 

(Oh and that's my super adorable Matron-of-Honor, Bri)

Since then, I have had a little hair multiple personality disorder. When it's winter, I like to go dark. Less upkeep. Goes better with winter color clothing (gray, dark red, navy, etc.)

 

This is one of my favorite colors. Kind of a light auburn. Brings out the green in my eyes. :)

Sometimes, when I have remnants of several color jobs going on, I go all out DARK...just because I can. My mom hates when I do this. :) I think she secretly thinks I am going goth...I am a little obsessed with vampires. *ahem*

This is a super dark burgundy color. I wanted to be different. And I loved my hair this dark. Til I started noticing gray, that is.

I do tend to get a little bored with just "brunette" or "blonde" so I switch it up and ask my amazing hair dresser to put three colors in my hair at once:

 

Here, I was rocking Kelly Clarkson inspired hair: dark base, bleached streaks and fire engine red streaks. My hair doesn't like fire engine red. It fades fast. SAD day. By the way, this is the signature "Christy smirk." It makes a reappearance frequently. 

Then, there was this one time I decided to be a little naughty. And spend $180 dollars on my hair. I wanted it lightened. A lot. I'd say I got my wish:

 

And that's when it happened. I think I fell in love with being a blonde. It just looks so pretttttty. And it makes my olive-y skin look all peaches and cream. :)

It seems everyone in my life wants me to have dark hair instead though, maybe they're just affraid of change (I know I am not...at least when it comes to my hair)...so I bit the bullet, tucked away the wallet (which was very happy not to have to do the upkeep on blondie blonde hair anymore) and looked to my girl crush, Sophia Bush, for hair inspiration for our engagement photos. 

Sophia Bush is stunningly gorgeous. And she is constantly rocking this amazing auburn hair. I like being a redhead too..but I had my hairstylist throw in some blonde streaks too, cause I'm a rebel like that:

 

I feel as though this hair color is gorg-eous. But it does make me look a little pale. Which I suppose is normal for redheads...

And thus began my latest "dilemma." Which of the above looks did I want for my wedding day? All my bridesmaids voiced their opinions. And they all bless their crazy little hearts said they wanted me to do the super dark burgundy/black color again. Which I like. I like it a lot. But something was just not sitting right with me about it. 

My wedding is all ivory and blush. Fluffy garden roses and puffy romantic dress. To me, burgundy dark hair had no place here. That would be beautiful with a 1940s inspired lace mermaid gown and calla lillies. Red lips and smoky eyes. If I could have two weddings, that's what I would do. 

So basically, since I like to be defiant sometimes, ask my dad he'll tell ya! I decided to go sit in a salon chair for FOUR hours while my poor, sweet hair dresser toiled away. This is what I looked like after 62...yes sixty two foils had been placed all over my head:

 

I know, sexy...right??

All this was so that I could once again live my dream of being a blonde again on my wedding day. Don't worry, lovely bridesmaids...I did not go all platinum like last time. I am deciding to call it "honey blonde" and I LOVE it. I can just picture it all swept up in a loose, wavy, romantic chignon with a big floaty flower behind my ear. I am sorry I cannot please everyone on this...but for once...just let me have fun bein' a blonde otay???

  

See? No platinum here! Just pretty, sunny, honey blonde. I am a happy girl.

Meggie Munchkin

On this day, 21 years ago...my parents blessed me with my baby sister, Meghan. From the moment she was born, I called her "my baby." Not my baby sister. Just my baby. That's how I still feel about her. No matter how old or beautiful she gets, she will always be that bouncing, hyper girl with the blonde ringlets and big brown eyes.

 

Me, Meghan and my big brother Tim. 21 Years ago. 

I once described Meghan as my own personal champagne. There really is no better way to say it. She has this bubbly nature and effervescent smile that can just light you up from the inside out. She is my best friend. My maid of honor. I am fiercely protective of her to this day (even if I do dream of throwing bicycles at her.)

I am a nurturing person by nature. I love taking care of people. Meghan always let me. Just take her under my wing and show her the way. Sometimes, it was really REALLY the wrong way. But, she never doubted me. Just kept on going along for the ride. Through many a Barbie make believe game, to countless high school lacrosse games where we would sit in 15 layers of clothes, still freezing our butts off but laughing the whole time. She became my "bad luck charm" in the car. I think we have been in 3 car accidents together? I blame her...but she just laughs it off and tells me I am just a bad driver. Which I am. 

She can do the B E S T Gollum impression ever and consents to do so whenever I want her to. Just to make me laugh. She loves Nerds and Bubbletape to this day, the grape kind thank you. She is just such a sweet little girl inside of an old soul. Her eyes are knowing. Her smile is infectious. When she cries, I swear the foundation of my soul cracks. She is just so...pure and her sadness is devastating. Which is why I work so hard to make sure she is never sad. I have given my fair share of "I'll kill you if you hurt her" speeches, much to her embarrassment. And even tattled on her a few times for her safety. I may not have ever been the best big sister. But she is the world's greatest little one. 

Thank you God and Mom and Dad for giving me such a wonderful present. I never could have made it this far in life without that little mischievous twinkle in her eyes that cheers me on and without that silly laughter that makes everything right with the world. 

Happy birthday my little Meggie Munchkin. I love you. 

Xavier James

On our way back to civilization from our camping trip, Josh and I were just chatting away when both our phones started going berserk. The second we reached a place where cell service was attainable, they just would not stop beeping and buzzing. We each had somewhere around 25 missed calls and 40 text messages.

We would soon learn that while we were out enjoying the great outdoors, one of the biggest miracles of our lives was happening back at home. Josh's little brother Nick, who had just gotten married last year, was welcoming his first son into the world.

Nick and I have been close since Josh and I became an item. He is such a sweet guy, full of all the love for life and joy I wish I could possess more consistently. It brings tears to my eyes that now there is a mini version of him in this earth.

My first real nephew. And Josh's. We rushed straight home, hopped in the shower and ran to the hospital. This is the most perfect and beautful baby I have ever seen. And Nick was positively beaming with pride at his son:

 

This photo is just so. s w e e t. It melts my heart. Into a little puddle. 

Josh was nervous at the thought of holding such a teeny baby. He said it makes him nervous because they are so small and fragile and they cant tell him what is wrong when they cry. :( I assured him it would be okay, and that he really needed to hold the baby. It was his first nephew after all. Quietly, he sat in the chair and the baby was placed in his arms. I swear, Josh forgot everything in the room holding that little guy. He just got this look on his face that made me fall so much more madly in love with him. I know now what he will look like one day, holding our own child. 

 

My big strong Josh. Complete with dirty hat, holding his new baby nephew. Look at how he looks at him. And those protective arms. Okay, I'll stop now. 

 

And lastly, me. Auntie Christy. :) Just look at that baby, will ya? He has the cutest nose I have ever seen. And perfect little cupid's bow lips. And fluffs of wispy blond hair. *sigh*

World: I introduce to you, your newest heartbreaker. Xavier James, born July 17, 2010.

The Scariest Day of My Life

On our amazing, relaxing camping trip, we decided to take a trip down the road to experience one of the lesser known tourist attractions in Colorado. It turned into the scariest day of my life. And I have lived through a tornado, people.

The town: Rye Colorado

The place: Bishop's Castle

The backstory: Jim Bishop is an anti-government wacko, ahem, I mean personality who decided he was sick of living life on the terms of the U.S.A government. So, he decided to become a reclusive man  who just wanted to build a castle (complete with moat) just because he felt like he could. He invites all people to come experience this building process with him and lets them climb all over the unfinished structure. He stood on a tractor the whole time screaming about how we, as U.S citizens do not need a passport or a driver's liscence. The government has been lying to us. We are giving into "The Man." Ah. It all makes sense now.

Scary because: The castle is roughly 160 feet tall. You can climb all the way up on steps and walkways made out of metal. With holes. And guardrails only as high as my upper thigh. There are also circular staircases inside the turrets which take you right by 6 foot windows. There is nothing stopping anyone from falling out of said windows. I did not know I was scared of heights until this day. Take a look:

 

At the very top there, you can see a small child hanging off the tower. I was having a heart attack. Oh yeah, and his castle has a dragon on it. SWEET.

 

I made it up this far. (about 120 feet in the air). Josh made me walk around that precarious walkway and I swear, my palms have never been more sweaty. I plastered myself against the stone wall and he had to coax me back to the stairs like a timid puppy. I was in minor hysterics. He was laughing his a$$ off. Meanie. 

 

Then I had to make it down the scariest flipping stairs ever invented. Its hard to see by the photo. But these go down the outside of the castle. At about a 70 degree angle. And each step is about 3 inches wide. *wipes palms*

It was a very educational day. We were required to read all the signs and listen to the words of a true crazy man. I was generally concerned for his well being. Josh climbed all the way to the top of the tower and waved at me. My heart stopped for a second. I think I will never go back to such a place again. 

Among the scary tower, there is also a big steel globe you can climb up to that is basically supported by....nothing. And you reach it by two narrow steel bridges, supported by...nothing. I think not! All Josh's little cousins were laughing at me. There goes my sense of pride. I am officially old. And terrified of heights. Good to know!

San Isabel

Part of the reason why I have been such a terrible blogger this month, is because Josh and I got some adventure bug this summer and have just been go-go-go. Last week, we just randomly decided to take part in the yearly adventure Josh's dad always takes to San Isabel, Colorado. We are on a kick lately of going places we have never been. And neither of us had ever been, much less heard of San Isabel.

It was absolutely gorgeous. And the most fun I have ever had camping. Little Charlie literally had a puppy smile on his face the entire time. It was awesome. You see? This was camping my style. Sure, we slept in a tent on the ground (let me tell you, you never realize you are not as young and spry as you once were until you sleep on the side of a mountain for 3 nights.) We hiked. We cooked over a campfire. But there were bathrooms...okay it was a glorified outhouse, but ya know what? It beats the heck out of peeing in the woods. Last time I tried that, I missed and peed on my foot. I was in flip flops. And then when I had to go in the middle of the night, there was tall wavy grass that tickled my butt and sent me screaming out of the woods while trying to dress myself. Not fun. Not. Fun.

It was the most relaxing, perfect getaway. And I got some amazing photos.

 

Here's the view as we drove into camp. 

 

Here's what we got to look at while taking Charlie on a 6:00 am puppy hike. 

The most awesome thing about camping in the mountains, is that you lose your sense of time. You rise with the sun. And go to bed shortly after it sets. Its so peaceful. 

  

Here's that puppy smile I was talking about.  

Halfway through the first day, we tied Charlie's leash around a tree, so he could chill while we ate lunch and stuff. I got up to go get a bottle of water and use the restroom and by the time I got back, Charlie had chewed through his leash. He was dangling by two teeny threads. Luckily we had bough this steel cable so we had to use that as a makeshift leash the rest of the trip. I still have blisters. Ouch!

My two favorite (and most handsome) boys in the whole world.

 

Chilling with my little booger by the beautiful stream alongside our camp. 

We hiked, ran, splashed in the river and even played a couple random games of volleyball there in the middle of the mountains. We also went on another adventure to a crazy place, but that will be in my next post.

 

Mountain Vball with the new fam. You can see me in the upper left (blue and white shirt) being very concerned, not about the game per se, but about what I was standing in. :) Such a girl. 

We even took a day trip to San Isabel Lake. Charlie was in love with it. He just sat there on the edge of the water, staring off across it. Barking at ducks. Slapping the water like a cat. He did not want to jump in. Josh dropped him in a shallow part and you would have thought we electrocuted him. He disowned us for about 5 minutes after that. 

A wet puppy at the lake. 

*sigh* I just love Colorado. IN THE SUMMER. Come winter, I will not be so charming and chipper about everything.

My Babies

The time has come, to inform the world...that I have not just been staring blankly at a computer screen on a day to day basis. I have, in fact, been working on these babies. Hilariously enough, they STILL are not fully complete. But one day, my mom, my sister and I decided we needed to buckle down. So we did. We stamped, embossed, glued, and assembled the main portion of my invites (all 100 of them) in about 4 hours. I <3 teamwork

.

 

Aren't they beautiful?

I bought that amazing stamp at my new favorite place: paper source. It was only $7.00! After scouring every craft store known to man, it was apparent that no stamp I could buy in a store could ever be as beautiful as this one. I designed the wording, and went to the coolest website ever, Dafont.com to download the file for that gorgeous script you see there. It is called "Chopin Script" if you care to know such things. 

As we were doing these, we got it down to an assembly line. First, we cut and glued all the blue backing cardstock on there. Then, I stamped, mom dusted on the embossing powder and Meghan ran the heat gun over it. Doing it this way went so fast! Pretty soon, we had all the inserts lined up, stamped and ready to go:

This was a very exciting step, seeing as how the previous four weeks had been spent trying every conceivable combination of ink/embossing powder to get the desired effect. We ended up using a chestnut brown stamp pad and "super fine" clear embossing powder. We had bought 4 different embossing powders before and since my stamp was so intricately detailed, after embossing it just looked like a big goopy mess. The super fine powder stuck to all the little nooks and crannies and embossed beautifully.

Now, the invites are primarily done. We just need to print, cut and assemble the inserts to go in the pocket. And of course make the belly-bands. I did find the perfect ribbon to use on these beauties. 

  

We plan on knocking out the rest of the invites this weekend. Then comes the daunting task of addressing them and dropping them at the post office. I made the mistake of dropping my save the dates in the mail at our apartment complex, and I just recently found out that over half of them either didn't get delivered to the proper people at all or they got delivered but they were mangled beyond all reason. I may or may not have thrown a teeny tantrum over this. After all, I worked really hard and spent good money making them...but alas. Lesson learned. 

Personally, I feel like my invitations are so gorgeous. They don't even look especially DIY. They have a vintage, custome made boutique look to them and I am in love. Of course, every mother thinks their child is the most beautiful. :)

Slacker!

Can I just say, I love July? It may be my favorite month. Its the best month for getting out, doing fun stuff and getting some sun! *ahem* quite possibly the worst month for blogging, but that is about to change my friends. I assure you, I have been B U S Y, that might even be the understatement of the year.

As all the busy-ness of July is coming to a close, I do find myself having regular nightmares about the wedding. Is the normal? Anyone? Hello....?

The first one was the worst. I dreamed that I went to bed on July 5th and woke up the next day and it was somehow October 1st. Cue panic attack. My dress had not been fully paid for yet and they were holding it at the store. My bridesmaids didn't fit into their dresses and they were all telling me they would just wear green to the wedding. (Green  is not anywhere near one of my wedding colors) My florist, also struck by this odd time traveling phenomenon had no time to go gather my beautiful garden roses from their happy little home in Texas, so I was informed I would be carrying a bouquet of carnations down the aisle. Finally, and definitely worst of all: Josh was missing. His groomsmen had taken him on a "man-trip" to the mountains and no one had seen or heard from him in days. Needless to say, I woke up from this dream in a cold sweat, with a few more gray hairs to my name. Eesh.

Since, they have been more frequent but less dramatic. More so annoying. It's always something though. I am missing my hair flower. I never bought shoes. I am supposed to be at the church in 5 minutes and my hair is not done and I am not tan and my legs are hairy. You know, the usual.

The bonus is there are no cold feet going on whatsoever. Just a whole lotta freaky dreams. I really should not be surprised. I am famous for having the weirdest dreams of all time. Just ask my sister. There have been days when I woke up mad at her about something she did to me in my dreams. One time, we went camping (in real life) and everyone told me not to bring my engagement ring, so nothing would happen to it. I didn't listen and wound up having the most delusional dream of my life. I dreamed Meghan had stolen my ring, broke it into a thousand pieces and hid it under a big rock. When I could not find it and was searching frantically, I found it there. Side note: do not even began asking me how a diamond ring could be broken into a thousand pieces. I know not of what I dream. :) Anyways, I didn't get to confront Meghan about it until we were in a Wal-Mart. Again, why we were there...I will never know, especially when we had only been camping five minutes before. Once she confessed, it became my life's mission to beat the living tar out of her with every imaginable item in Wal-Mart. I distinctly remember throwing a b i c y c l e. Yes. Please don't interpret my dream, I am scared to know what goes on inside my little head.

All I have to say is, it runs in the family. Just the other day, my mom gave my fiance a complex for life spelling out one of her crazy dreams. You see, she dreamt I left Josh for a soldier named Ramos. He had 3 kids and a tattoo across his chest that said, "Stefanie." With an F. My mom tried to convince me to come back and be with Josh, but no. I was with Ramos now.

See? If I am crazy, I am blaming it on my mom. Now everytime Josh gets the opportunity he brings up my true love, Ramos. If I get off the phone as I am walking through the door: "You were talking to Ramos, weren't you?" Lol. Yep, we're all a little bit wacko here in the G-fam. Now, onto bigger and better things....

Guilty.

It's been a week. And already, I feel the urge. The urge to doll myself up just to go sit amongst a crowd of squealing tweens. To buy a Diet Coke larger than my head, settle into one of those grungy theater seats and stare at a screen. You see, I have a problem. I have been swept up in this little vampire craze. I would say I am ashamed to admit it, but I am totally not.

I am an avid reader. When I have extra money, I wonder the aisles of Barnes and Noble aimlessly for hours. Leaving with a stack of books higher than my eyeballs. Some say nerd. I would agree. :) During one of those adventures about five years ago, my eye caught a pretty black book with a shiny red apple on the front. They say don't judge a book by its cover. That one hooked me from afar. I had to pick it up. I put it back down immediately. "Ugh. Vampires. REALLY?!" I said under my breath to myself. A week later, I went back and bought it. I devoured that book in two hours between classes, sitting on a park bench at my college campus. I bought the sequel, New Moon in the student bookstore. Suffice it to say, I finished all four of Stephenie Meyer's delightfully cheesy and fluffy vampire novels in a week. See, that's the beauty of Twilight. Its amazing because its fluff. I am not trying to read anything more into these books like *ahem* some people.

I am notorious among my group of friends for being "A Vampire Dealer"...as in, I loaned out my dog eared books to my friends, skeptical and unknowing of the mystical addictive powers these books hold. Working in the most terrible place ever with one of my BEST friends and bridesmaids, April...we whiled away the hours imagining what Edward Cullen *really* looked like. Yeah, we were 21. So?! Then, Summit came along and gave us this little piece of man candy, complete with the.most.perfect. crooked smile:

I distinctly remember watching the trailer for Twilight repeatedly (on silent because our work computer had no speakers) and shrieking like maniacs when he curled that lip up ever so slightly. Freaks.

Since then, April, my sister Meghan and I have attended the midnight premiere of all three movies in the series thus far. Yes, I am 23 years old. And I am a Twerd. A Twi-hard. A Twilighter. I have a problem. I may or may not have bought my tickets for Eclipse the day they went on sale (two months before the release.)

But you see...Eclipse is my FAVORITE book. For oh, so many reasons. It opens with a Robert Frost poem. Jacob (the werewolf) becomes an integral part of the plot, Bella grows up...Edward lets her. I do NOT buy into this stupid Team Jacob, Team Edward crap! I love them both. So does Bella. She belongs with Edward, but that does not mean I have to hate Jacob. I mean, Jacob and Bella have some serious chemistry. And seriously, could they have picked a more perfect Jacob. I fully approve of Taylor Lautner.

 


I feel like the first movie was terrible. It was an almost indie flick. Low budget, no frills. And the actors were just coming into their own as stars. I remember thinking Kristen Stewart gave a painfully awkward performance. And watching her at award shows always embarrassed me. The poor girl is just so fidgety and nervous. All.The.Time.

But the movies have progressivley gotten better. (And leaps and bounds better for Eclipse. SO.GOOD!) And the actors have really learned how to act. I am drawn to KStew now. I think she is gorgeous, if a little awkward still. And I really feel like they are the characters. When I read the books now, I picture them. And I am okay with that.

  

They're just so pretty!

The movie was awesome. The best so far. They stuck to the book so well, without dragging on through the slow parts. There was amazing character development and lots of effects which made it downright scary, which the other two...just weren't. And can I just say? The intercharacter relation between the holy trinity of Twilight was awesome. The subtle punches between Jacob and Edward. The chemistry between Bella and both the boys. And ALL the supporting cast. Just wow. 

I cannot believe I just wrote about Eclipse. I am officially the lamest girl you know. And I love it. And I am seriously craving a Diet Coke and a matinee.