Gratitude.

I guess I should not be so excited about little things at this point. Afterall, we are only 63 days away from the wedding. I guess I should be more on the ball. I could be more on the ball if I had infinite amounts of money always at my disposal, but alas...we are paying for this wedding one chunk at a time. Each payday, we have another couple things to take care of. And that's really all we can do until next payday. This method is equally frustrating and fulfilling. My OCD brain really wishes that everything could just be done, right now. That way I do not have to think about it anymore. It is fulfilling though, checking so many things off the list and knowing that we are a large part in making this wedding a success.

That brings me to my point however. There is absolutely no way in the world that we would be pulling this off without the help and favors of so many people. I do not know how I will ever show enough gratitude to those who are helping us...it seems so much bigger than us. Its not just a day full of food and fun, although it certainly will be. It is a day symbolic of Josh and I growing up, spreading our wings, and a day symbolic of the joining of our two families.

I want to do something special to signify my parents and Josh's at the wedding, but I am honestly not sure what will be enough. I just don't know. If I know them though, anything at all will melt their sweet, giving hearts and that makes me feel like they deserve even more. *sigh*

So, for now:

Mama:
Words can never express what a help you have been in every single facet of this wedding so far. From sitting in countless meetings with Josh and I at venues across Colorado, always asking the questions we would never think of and looking out for us. For crying when I walked out of the dressing room in my wedding gown, the one we both knew was "the one" the moment we saw it. For taking Josh to the jewelry store and pointing out the ring I loved, and then for counseling him on if he was ready and supporting him through the entire proposal process. For your creativity and patience with things I just do not feel like stressing over. For your patience with me as I changed my mind 9,000 times over stupid things like embossing powder. For opening your home to us to allow us a chance to pay for this wedding and not go bankrupt in the process. But most of all, for being there through the saga of Josh and Christy, always knowing what advice to give and when to just sit back and let it happen; for supporting us and understanding the love we have for each other and being willing to guide us to the day when we will be a married couple. You are an inspiration and a blessing to us both. We love you very much.

Dad:
This wedding would NOT be happening, at all...if it weren't for you. I had spent many days and nights crying and anguishing over the fact that we would never be able to afford it before we came to you. We started with a grand group of ideas in mind. And slowly, everything started getting scaled back. The guest list, the favors, the invites, the food. When finally I could not scale anything back anymore, you stepped in to help us. Without blinking an eye, you offered whatever we needed. No questions asked. You have always been so willing to counsel us, on what is wise, what people will not even know is there or not, what we can take care of. Despite you wanting us to just run away together a time or two, you understood what this wedding and this day means to us. Thank you, not just for the financial support...but for the moral support of Josh and I, both individually and as a couple. We are so thankful we have the love and guidance of such a sweet, funny, giving man to help us through.

Ralph and Jackie:
Despite the fact that all the wedding planning is going on over in my world, you have both been so amazing in asking questions, wanting to be involved and giving support to us. From countless phone calls about who's last name is who's and who lives where...you have never once felt burdoned by any of it. You are so gracious. Letting me pore through baby photos of Josh, letting me blab nonstop about menu options and invitations. Coming with us to view the venue and looking at our wedding budget with a keen and knowing eye. Then, contributing to the wedding in such a big way. I cannot express how much it means that you want to be a part of all this with us, and for accepting me into your family the way you have. I feel so happy knowing what an amazing, sweet and supportive family Josh has...and even happier knowing I will get to call you mine too, one day soon.

Tonya:
From day one with Josh and I, you have been there...holding MY hand through the process. :) I was so unsure of myself when this all started, I was a mess to deal with. Josh and I would never have made it this far if you hadn't sat me down and really talked to me about what this life meant for me. You were the person who asked me what I wanted in life. And I did not know. You gave me "homework" and told me to make a dream board, overviewing everything I wanted to achieve. You opened my eyes to the independent and happy girl I was once and could be again. Even through all the yucky parts of our relationship, you loved me like a daughter and always showed such compassion and knowing. Thank you for always talking to us at our level, letting us know it was okay to mess up sometimes, and loving us anyway.

Do you guys deserve a parade? I think so!