Hormonal Birth Control = NOT a fan

I must apologize in advance for the content of this particular entry. I know it is a little personal talking about birth control, but it is one of those things I felt I needed to share my experience with. If you are uninterested in this girl's journey through hormone hell...feel free to skip this entry.

As a little background: when I was around 12 or 13 years old (like 7th grade), I began to have "morning sickness" like symptoms. I would wake up dizzy and just feel completely awful, sometimes even escalating into vomiting. I missed a LOT of school and just looked wrecked. Super skinny, sunken cheeks, black eyes, etc. The doctors really did not know what was wrong with me. Until one day when my mom and brother were leaving to go somewhere. I believe I was in 8th grade at this point. I remember sitting on the couch and my mom saying something to me about getting up to do something. I also remember not answering her...because a sudden pain in my abdomen had doubled me over. I distinctly remember writing to the floor and falling on my knees; tears were streaming down my face and I could not breathe. My mom thought I was crazy for a minute before she realized something was seriously wrong. This pain was unlike anything I have ever felt in my life and to this day, have NEVER felt anything so painful. It was on my left side and it just was a stabbing, ripping pain all over. I literally couldn't catch my breath. It hurt to try to gasp in air. Embarrassing as this may have been for him, my brother, who was about 16 at the time picked me up and carried me to the car. We drove to my family's Dr.

I know at first, they thought it was appendicitis. But after some short tests (like slapping me in the bottom of the foot repeatedly) they determined that that was not the case. I was sent to get an ultrasound. They discovered that I had a very large ovarian cyst that had ruptured. Since it had already ruptured they could not do anything for me besides tell me I had just endured worse pain than childbirth. Uhm YEAH! While doing the ultrasound, they discovered lots of other smaller cysts and reccommended I start birth control, as that usually helps them disappear. I flat out said no. I did not want to be 13 and on birth control and my mom kind of agreed with me. Besides, my mom was aware of all the creepy side effects of hormonal birth control and was not willing to put me through that.

Fast forward to today. I have struggled with my ovarian cysts ever since. The left side of my abdomen somtimes clearly shows that there is something inside of me, like a golf ball. (Gross, I know). Sometimes, they twinge and sometimes they throb like crazy. Thankfully, I have never had another one rupture that I knew of. Because of them, my periods have always been almost debilitating: heavy and painful. But I never got birth control. Until recently. Josh and I decided that this time right before the wedding was stressful enough and that after we're married, we'd like to be covered without an immediate pregnancy. So I went to the gynecologist and she reccommended a birth control called Nuvaring. I had heard good things about it from friends so I decided to finally bite the bullet and try.

I lasted five days. The side effects were unbearable. After five days. So I can only imagine what would have happened if I'd left it and continued to deal with them:

*Almost right away, I developed the weirdest headache. A dull pain right between my eyes that made it hard to see. That still has not gone away.
* My normally 6 day steady flow ended after ONE.
* The day after I inserted it, I could not comfortably fit into ANY of my work pants (which are normally held up by a belt)
* The first 2 days, I had no appetite at all. I would start eating something and then immediately feel sick.
* The next 3 days, I was hungry ALL the time.
* From day one, although I had no bleeding, I was in severe pain. Not menstrual cramps, but a pain throughout my entire abdomen.
* I had severe back pain (like my kidneys) and pain when using the bathroom.
* I found myself having incredibly vivid and dark dreams and thoughts. When I would snap out of it, I would be completely shocked that I wasn't watching a movie or something.

These are all terrible, and I was trying to battle through it, but I reached the end of my rope last night. Josh and I were laying in bed, Charlie between us. I was just working on the laptop and Charlie rested his head on my arm. Normally, this behavior would elicit oohs and ahs from me. But I was so annoyed. It was so irritating to me that he was breathing on my arm. I also found myself telling Josh to stop sniffling, which I am not even sure if he really was. UGH! When I tried to tell Josh I felt super annoyed with everything, I started crying. Uhm, super irritable one minute and emotional the next?! NO thanks!!! I took that sucker out right that minute. I woke up this morning looking skinnier than I have in months. All the water weight added on by the birth control must have subsided over night and then some. I also just felt...better. No headache. No pain. In a great mood. That hormonal birth control scares the crap out of me. I understand not every woman gets symptoms but the fact that I had them within a few days had me worried. I guess its back to the Dr. for me to try and figure out a different way. I can tell you, I will NOT be using any form of synthetic hormones from now on.